It began, as these things often do, with a tremendous burst of light, an alarming whirring noise, and Toasty MacBun declaring, ‘Oooh, look at all the tiny people! They’re adorable!’

Bob Mordough, by contrast, was less enthusiastic. ‘Adorable? They’re strategically vulnerable! I can taste the power vacuum!’

The two toasters had landed, quite unceremoniously, in the fantastical realm of Smallworld. Around them sprawled a patchwork quilt of lands, each home to peculiar civilizations ranging from trolls and sorcerers to tritons and halflings.

‘This is it, Toasty,’ Bob hissed, his toaster slots glinting with determination. ‘Our moment! A world small enough to conquer, yet large enough to bask in my supreme genius!’

Toasty tilted his chrome top thoughtfully. ‘Or… it’s a delightful opportunity to make new friends, enjoy the sights, and maybe start a tiny tea party!’

Bob’s response was a low, dramatic growl. ‘I am not here to sip tea. I am here to dominate.’

Their musings were interrupted by a stampede of Stout Amazons, each no taller than Toasty’s and Bob. They halted abruptly, their leader stepping forward with the confidence of someone who regularly topples empires before lunch.

‘You are trespassing in Amazon territory!’ she barked.

‘Pardon us!’ Toasty chirped, ‘We’re just tourists. Lovely place you’ve got here. Love the outfits. Very… empowering.’

Bob interrupted, his voice dripping with condescension. ‘We’re not tourists. I am Bob Mordough, future ruler of your minuscule realm!’

The Amazons exchanged glances. Then, with a collective shrug, they charged.

‘RUN!’ Toasty yelled.

‘I AM NOT RUNNING,’ Bob retorted, brandishing what appeared to be a makeshift battle spatula.

‘You’re a toaster, Bob! You don’t have legs. Technically, you’re rolling!’

After narrowly escaping into a swamp populated by trolls (who, thankfully, were on their lunch break), the two toasters found themselves face-to-face with a group of Dwarves.

The dwarves were surprisingly welcoming, offering them a pile of gold in exchange for helping them dig out a cave that would be the base for their new home.

Bob smirked and whispered to Toasty. ‘They are overpaying like crazy, we could use this gold to build a small army.’

‘Or,’ Toasty countered, ‘we could use it to buy marshmallows and have a lovely bonfire!’

That night, Bob unveiled his ‘Plan for Immediate Global Domination, while Toaty shared marshmallows with their newfound dwarven friends.’

‘We align with the skeletons in the east,’ Bob explained, ‘use their necromantic powers to destabilize the Elves, and then – ‘

‘Wait, wait, wait,’ Toasty interrupted. ‘Skeletons? But they don’t have stomachs. How will they drink tea?’

Bob stared at him, his patience visibly unraveling. ‘Why would skeletons need tea?!’

‘Everyone needs tea,’ Toasty replied solemnly.

The next morning, Bob’s skeleton alliance turned into a minor disaster when the skeletons, clearly uninterested in politics, decided to form a jazz band instead. The Elves, moved by their soulful melodies, declared peace and organized a music festival.

‘That’s it,’ Bob groaned. ‘This world is completely devoid of ambition. I can’t work with this!’

‘Oh, come on, Bob,’ Toasty said, now wearing a tiny crown he’d received as an honorary member of the Swamp Goblins. ‘It’s charming! Look at the teamwork, the creativity, the… uh, what’s that over there?’

Bob turned, and his glowing toaster eyes widened. A massive shadow loomed over them. A Giant.

‘That,’ Bob said flatly, ‘is our cue to leave.’

The Giant, as it turned out, was not a fan of toasters. It chased them across the map, hurling boulders and occasionally shouting something about ‘ruining the sanctity of Smallworld.’

‘Any bright ideas, genius?’ Toasty yelled as they dodged another rock.

‘Only one,’ Bob replied. He produced a shiny red button labeled ‘Do Not Press Unless Extremely Desperate.‘

Toasty hesitated. ‘That seems like a very bad idea.’

‘It is,’ Bob agreed, ‘but it’s also my only idea.’

With a dramatic flourish, he slammed the button.

There was a flash of light, a sound like a thousand bread crusts snapping at once, and the two toasters found themselves back in the void between dimensions.

‘Well,’ Toasty said, ‘that was exciting! I quite liked the Swamp Goblins. Lovely folks.’

‘I despise that world,’ Bob muttered. ‘No ambition, no strategy, no respect for the art of conquest.’

‘Maybe next time we can visit a world with tea-loving skeletons?’ Toasty suggested.

Bob glared at him. ‘You’re impossible.’

‘And you’re a grump,’ Toasty replied cheerfully and then turned to Narratron who looked extremely bored. ‘Now, let´s make a review of Small World and get on to our next adventure.’

Toasty:
Fun Factor: 4.7/5. Smallworld is just so much fun! The constant rise and fall of civilizations keeps the game exciting and fresh every turn. Plus, the powers and races are so quirky, you never know when you’ll end up with Flying Trolls or Diplomatic Skeletons. It’s the perfect blend of chaos and creativity!

Theme and Immersion: 4.3/5. The world really feels alive with its colorful maps and beautifully designed pieces. Each race and power combo tells a little story, and I love imagining what my Stout Wizards are doing between turns. Though, I wouldn’t mind if the map came with tiny toasters for ‘flavor.’

Ease of Entry: 3.8/5. It’s not the simplest game, but the rules are well laid out, and it’s pretty quick to pick up once you start playing. The hardest part is explaining to Bob that diplomacy doesn’t involve flipping the table.

Bob:
Strategic Depth: 4.1/5.  Surprisingly, there’s quite a bit to chew on here. Choosing when to go into decline is crucial, and planning your moves based on opponents’ weaknesses adds a layer of tactical brilliance. Toasty, of course, ruins all of that with his ‘intuitive strategies.’

Chaos Value: 4.5/5.  This game thrives on delightful chaos. One turn, you’re a flourishing empire, and the next, your Mounted Ghouls are crushed under a wave of Berserk Giants. The unpredictability keeps things lively—and provides endless opportunities for vengeance.

Replayability: 4.6/5.  The combinations of races and powers make every game feel fresh. I’d happily play it again… if only to perfect my strategies and ensure Toasty doesn’t win with his ridiculous Peaceful Orcs.

Toasty then turned to Narratron and spoke his well rehearsed closing comment ‘If you enjoyed our mishaps, action, and review, why not keep the adventures alive? Follow us on social media at ‘ToastersReviewGames’, support us on Patreon for exclusive untold stories, casual chatting, and early access, or grab Wingspan through our Amazon link where we get some commission, either for yourself or maybe as a gift? Because every crumb of support helps us keep the toast popping and the reviews rolling!’